In this weeks topic of dating, I found it interesting to learn about the relationship attachment law. It was described like this: 

You need to know someone more than you trust them.

You need to trust someone more than you rely on them. 

You need to rely on someone more than you commit to them.

You need to commit to someone more than you touch them.

As we talked about this in class it seemed to be common sense. It is so important to know a person before you give them your trust, rely on them, commit to them, or trust them. You're not going to know how they will treat you, or respond to things unless you get to know them. It was also said in class that it takes a minimum of three months to begin to get to know someone. I LOVE this. So many people out here in Rexburg get engaged after only a couple weeks of getting to know someone. I personally think that would be so scary. You would basically be marrying a stranger. I'm not your typical LDS girl. I believe in getting to know someone for a long period of time, then dating them for a long period of time, and then if it's right and I feel comfortable with that person completely maybe we'll get engaged. Trust is earned, and I feel like it takes awhile for most people to earn that because I do need to get to know them completely. 

This week we talked about same sex attraction. Some people think that it's a choice, while others believe the "born this way" theory. 

There aren't many members of the church where I come from, but we do have very small minded people in Iowa. I think in the church there are lots of people who live in a bubble. They think that the only way to live is the LDS way and anyone who is different or not living the gospel standards is bad or can't be their friend. In Iowa, there are a lot of small towns and most of the people are still old fashioned. Anything new or different seems to be a problem for them. 

I have never had an issue with people who have same sex attraction. In fact, I used to have a good friend who has it. I don't have a very good understanding of whether its a choice or if they're born that way. I've known members of the church who live there lives according to the gospel standards, and go to therapists because they really do not want to have same gender attraction, but somehow they still have it. I don't understand why anyone would choose that kind of life. Especially when it is so clear that they don't want to be gay. 

I know that Heavenly Father loves all of his children regardless of whether they're living according to his gospel standards or not. I can only hope that we as members of the church can be more like him.

This week we talked about cultures. We were presented with the question: Are some cultures more valid than others? In class we looked up the definition of "valid." It means sound, well founded, producing desired results. I think that it is hard to determine if a culture is more valid than another culture, because every person is different. They have different expectations, goals, and beliefs. How can one person tell another person that what they believe in is wrong? Especially when each person sins and has flaws. The one being who can tell any of us that one culture is more valid than another is our Heavenly Father. 
In class we did an activity where a few students were put in the front of the classroom. They were given roles such as: mother, father, kid, cousin, uncle, and grandparent. They were told that they were a Hispanic family and the father was going to be moving to America to give his family better opportunities. The family was planning on moving out with the father shortly after he got there, but unfortunately it didn't work out that way. It was 3 years before the two kids and the mother moved out there and by then a lot of emotional damage had been done. The kids talked about feeling abandoned and the wife had many hardships. I couldn't help but feel sorry for this family. I wish things had been easier or better for them, but watching this role playing gave me hope for families. Even though it was a difficult thing, the father went to America out of love for his family. Some people aren't so privileged to have a parent do something so loving for them.  Sacrifice goes a long way in showing someone that you really love and care about them.  

This week we talked about theories within the family. The four theories we discussed are:
Family systems theory which is about the family as a whole, roles, and boundaries.
Exchange theory which is costs vs. benefits.
Symbolic interaction which is that we're always creating meaning.
And conflict theory which is that conflict can be good.

I think that in my family growing up the conflict theory was the most relate-able to what we had. In my family there was constant conflict between my parents, the kids, and the kids with the parents. I don't know that I can say that conflict was a good thing for us though. Perhaps sometimes, but most of the time no. 
When I have a family or for myself personally I believe the theory that best describes how I operate is symbolic interaction. I like to have meaningful relationships with anyone that comes into my life. I think that creating meaning and purpose is what will make me happy the most within my family, but of course it is also important to consider what my future husband and future kids will thrive the most with as well.

Hey ya'll!

This is my first go with blogging so bear with me. The class I'm doing this for is family relations, and it is honestly the most interesting class I have had within my 4 years of college experience. This week we talked about current trends. For example: The age of marriage is increasing, unmarried births is increasing, employed mothers is increasing, and divorce is increasing. Those are not even close to all of the trends that we have seen or talked about this week. These trends did not surprise me though. My personal opinion is that America is getting lazy and selfish (not everyone, but many). People don't want to get married because it's easier to just live with a person, which causes unmarried births. Then when those people do decide to get married, divorce is almost inevitable. Marriage doesn't mean anything anymore to most, so why should divorce matter either? I personally have many friends back home who have kids, and live with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I am not one to judge and I will always hope and wish the best for those people. I personally am trying to live my life according to the gospel standards that I have grown to love over the course of my 21 years. It's not easy to keep my standards when society is moving towards a complete opposite direction, but I am doing my best. The only trend that I really have a hard time seeing a huge issue in is employed mothers. I personally want to work even when I have kids. I love working and I feel like I need work to keep my sanity sometimes! I also don't see an issue in mothers staying home. I think that it's the choice of the wife/mother and of course confiding with your Heavenly Father is always a good option. I hope that my opinions haven't offended anyone and ya'll have a good day!